It’s over… So after 11 harrowing months, I am officially finished working for the charter school. It is such a relief. But also a little bit terrifying. Unlike my coworkers who are moving on to grad school, new jobs, or … Continue reading
So I’m part of this 31 day challenge, I’ll write on a new topic every day . I hope to focus them around the theme of my blog (life after college), and hope that through these unique words/topics I’ll add some more glitter to the world, inspiration to myself and others, and have some fun. You can learn more about it here.
You will keep in perfect peace
those whose minds are steadfast,
because they trust in you.
Trust is not just something you do. It’s something you build. With God, with people, with yourself. Of course God is the ultimate in trustworthiness, but you know how small and human we are. It’s only when we’re steadfast on him and spending time with him that we trust. And he grants us perfect peace, which makes perfect sense, if you’re fully trusting in God why would you ever worry about anything again. My encouragement for the post grad crew and really anyone who is struggling to be an adult, trust. Trust in yourself, trust your friends, trust your family, and trust God. Of course trust is not easy, and goodness people lose it much too easily, but living our lives with trust and openness is greater than the alternative.
Peace and glitter,
So I’ve been reflecting because it’s been a year since I graduated and as it happens precisely a year since I started this young blog and to put it lightly this year has been a year of growth and challenge; I’ve been reflecting much about living a meaningful life, a full life, a God centered life.
This Scripture stood out to me today.
It basically says that we are all a tiny part of this magnificent thing called life and we are not promised a tomorrow. Today is all that we have, we could very much be dead tomorrow. Let God’s will be done.
And it’s true, but I know being a 20 something, that is a hard reality to live. Hard because on any given day do you really think you could die? No? Me either. I live with that arrogance James reprimands, I assume I have another day to try again, to love, to dance, to forgive, to make that phone call, to do that thing I’m scared to do. But in fact this may be my last day, and every day I want that to have mattered.
Which makes me realize more and more it isn’t about what we do.
Stick with me, see I realize that each day could be my last, and I want to live with that reality living with the knowledge that this life is not the end all and be all of human existence, that God is doing works within this world that stretch into the world beyond and that is what ultimately matters.
Which means what matters isn’t what I do, but that I am a person who has their life fully reconciled to God, that I give all that I am to Him! And in so doing my love for Him will flow into all I do, which means that I will do things that matter, and think them, and feel them, and breathe them, and live them! You see, if I am truly living a life that is passionately connected to Him everything else will come out of that LOVE.
And I know it’s true. Oh, I make mistakes. I stumble tremendously. I say things I’m grateful that forgiveness covers. But I am journeying and I know that I’m in a better place, a more loving place and seen more of who God is and become more of who God says I am than the senior who graduated last year. And Freshman Juanita, I don’t even know that girl. She, I think, would be really shocked by where life has taken her, where God has called her to every single day, but I think she’d be overwhelmed by His love for her, for His goodness in the world, and the ways He is calling out His people to show great and mighty love in this world. I still am. Some things don’t change.
Glitter always glitter,
I have always liked the idea of a word of the year.
It’s so powerful because words especially in the English language are so multi-layered and if it’s a verb (as mine is) there are a million words you can choose to go after it.
But before I share 2015’s word I have a few thoughts on this past year.
This past year was an incredible one. It was one of my best by far, and also one of the most challenging.
It taught me a lot about love, how to open my heart to people I may only know for a short time, how to better love my fiance, how to love my family and yet not continue my role as compliant child, how to love and be there for my friends without being used, and to open my heart to new love: namely Miss J, who despite having dementia still has much love to give and receive, and my new roommates who are such kind and godly women I am still amazed I found them. More than anything it taught me the power of action and presence, over words and intentions.
This year I was brave. I spoke in front of my entire school and shared my testimony, words that continue to shape me and keep me accountable. I went back to camp when I was scared that I would be lonely and miserable and postpone my future and wound up honestly having the best summer of my life. I decided to take a chance and let God know moving out would be amazing and he gave me a job and a place to go that have been major blessings and so easy even as they have greatly challenged me.
I prayed more than ever before, I’ve spent so much time in my prayer journal and on my knees than ever before. And I have such a long way to go, but my relationship with God is even stronger. He is the one I am leaning towards and choosing even when other things distract. The Holy One has guided me in so many ways, I’ve made decisions because I heard His voice, and while the path wasn’t always easy and some paths I’m still not sure what’s at the end of the journey, but the journey has given so much peace I know it’s only because of God.
I tried new things. I started this blog. I went on a trip to Baltimore with my best friend. I moved. I joined a group of women to not only create a whole play by sharing my personal stories, but I also committed to performing that play into the new year. I cooked a few meals all by myself. I watched more new shows and movies than I have in a long time. I said yes to adventures with friends and initiated adventures in a way I’ve always been to timid to push for.
So what is my word for 2015?
This morning I was reading my Bible a bunch of Scriptures that included the word seek. Honestly I have no idea why except that I could not sleep and simply longed for rest and to be in his presence. Among them I read Isaiah 55 which is aptly titled “Invitation to the Abundant Life”.
That is what I long for. Oh, I feel so close some days and so far others. On a slightly unrelated topic my fiance reminded me last night that as long as I keep moving upwards as I keep striving to be better that’s what truly matters. Mistakes happen, I’m human, but what is the bigger picture of my life?
That is why I choose seek for next year.
I want to seek the Holy One’s presence.
I want to seek love.
I want to seek the opportunities that God has for me.
I want to seek out the broken, the hurt, and the unloved, and give to them out of unconditional love.
I want to seek the life that I’m meant to live regardless of what my family thinks or how uncomfortable it is.
I want to seek challenges because if I’m not growing, I’m dying.
I want to seek, I don’t want to wait, to worry, to fester, but to seek and go after whatever will help me best live a life that glorifies the Holy One and offers unconditional love to everyone I interact with.
Seek. My word for 2015 a year that’s already set up for great things between my fiance and I getting married, being a part of this Women in the Bible play, and everything in between. I’m going to seek with all my heart.
What’s your word for 2015?
P.S. Since I’m going away to my grandmother’s for the next few days and will not have access to the internet, I will not be writing again until the new year, for now feel free to go back and look through old posts, comment and share your words, or to take your own break. Thank you so much for reading, it has been such an encouragement to me.