So I’m part of this 31 day challenge, I’ll write on a new topic every day . I hope to focus them around the theme of my blog (life after college), and hope that through these unique words/topics I’ll add some more glitter to the world, inspiration to myself and others, and have some fun. You can learn more about it here.
Fun fact, I’ve been in two major car accidents in my life. One I saw coming the other totally sideswiped me. Both were utterly terrifying. There is nothing quite like the impact of a crash, you feel it through every fiber of your body and the whole thing unfolds in scary graphic detail (Unless you have the unfortunate aspect of passing out/being majorly injured). In both accidents the only injury I had was a seat belt burn. But those accidents have stuck in my mind and while I think the trauma of them is mostly resolved I think of the word crash and that’s where my mind goes.
I think of life feeling hopelessly fragile. I think of the sudden moment when you realize if things had happened differently I would have been dead. I think about how I’m in my early twenties and I still don’t know how to drive. On one hand it’s because I’m a busy city girl and especially in college, I just didn’t have a reason or convenient way to learn how to drive.
But I also know I’m afraid to crash. I’m afraid to have that potential threat be a part of my daily life. When my husband drives I feel utterly safe, like I’ve never felt with anyone else driving. When I’m riding the T, I have no fear of impact only hope that something won’t disrupt my commute.
I think of how I can be so afraid of the crash in general. I hate the idea of being sideswiped by life. A sudden death, a friend saying something that changes your life forever, a pregnancy when you’re just not ready, divorce, something so heavy with hate said in the midst of a fight, being fired. So many things can happen when you’re not expecting them (and even when we see it coming it still shocks our system). I wish I could tell you readers how to avoid the crashes in life. But I can’t because much like car accidents they’re not always our fault, sometimes when we do everything right we still get hit, and it’s so easy to forget that we should be so grateful it so easily could have destroyed us. But dear readers, you may not be able to avoid the hard crash of life, but there is One who understands so much. Who loves us and carries us through as we recover.
I’m talking about Jesus, he helps me through the crashes in my life, I can’t express how his peace has carried me through. How many crashes I overcame by his strength. Even those physical crashes, no one can make me doubt that the only reason I am alive today is God’s grace alone. How he lead me to this home, which has been such a healing place for me, a place of peace, somehow I lived here on only a part time income (that came EXACTLY when I needed it), and now it’s a home for my husband and I. I pray that you would also find your healing in the aftermath of the crash with him.