So I’ve got marriage/weddings on the brain I mean I guess it’s reasonable. My countdown tells me we are a mere 43 days away from tying the knot. Also I found this and got a chuckle and a reassurance:
All the major stuff is done. There are so many little things though, that apparently matter. Like it’s a good idea to have a wedding timeline otherwise people will probably just run around confused and being like “When should we take the pictures?”
Also people care about things to differing degrees than you do. And you have to weigh that and also work within reality.
No amount of people thinking it’s not good enough to have simple lunch food will make your budget able to feed people a richer meal (and the suggesters are rarely offering money, but let me tell you, they’re rich in ideas).
But seriously, wedding planning is a wild ride. And S and I will not come out of it unscathed. We will also come out of it better. And most of all we will come out of it married.
So for this post I just wanted to share some things I’ve learned from wedding planning things I think will apply to those other lovebirds in my life, but will hopefully offer something to those who are in other seasons of life.
1. Working/Communicating together takes Work. I think there have been times in our relationship that we took our communication for granted. Where small issues were pushed under the rug and big things we fought about with all the rage and confusion to boot. But then we were engaged and having to make big decisions on a much more frequent basis and raging at each other all the time was just exhausting. So with each argument we have been learning to really listen to each other, a key part is not forming your rebuttal as the other person is speaking. I’ve realized this truth as a camp counselor, in friendships, yet it’s wedding planning that made me realize communication is work.
2. You can’t have only that ONE person. It’s really easy in any stage of a relationship to only have eyes for your love. To only spend time with your love. To only prioritize your love. This is multiplied three fold once you get engaged because you can get all moony eyed and in love. Yet, I’ve found though more than ever I need more than him. And friends and family have offered support. Whether it’s helping out with a wedding task, having someone to gripe about how different S is from me, or to simply have another person to spend a good meal with, you might be marrying one person, but you still need a community of people to love and support you.
3. You can’t live by everyone else’s expectations. Everyone has an opinion on your wedding. Seriously. People will surprise you, they will insist, if you don’t have xyz it’s not a real wedding. You will try to appease. But you cannot. Listen to God. Listen to your spouse to be, and listen to yourself. Not that you can’t do things your family or friends want, but if it goes against your values, your budget, your comfort, then it won’t be a part of your wedding. This is true for a lot of things in life, and is not always easy to follow through on.
There is more I’m sure, but it is late and this bride to be is going to get some shut eye for the night.
What’s the crazy big thing going on in your life: unemployment, school frustrations, family, illness, getting older, adventures, mission trips, a major move, perhaps wedding joys and woes of your own. Share with me glitter crew what are you hating, what are you learning?