You know how, now that you’re an adult (or basically you got your undergrad degree and now you have to find somewhere to live and work and living in the basement of your former dorm is not a viable option), there are things you have to do because they are your responsibility. Or you want Z, but to get there you have to do X and Y which are just not as fun.
For example say you love to travel, but you’re not such a big fan of the daily grind of saving but you make a plan anyway and don’t eat out so much (and let’s face it nobody really needs 2 AM tacos) so you can do what you really want (eat an authentic cannoli while traveling Italy, obviously). You do what you must to get to the good stuff.
Well it seems for me, getting to the good stuff (being married) means I have to go through the grind part (wedding planning). To clarify in case the point comes up I am fully aware as a young college graduated I’m fairly young at least for your average American to be getting married, though not that young. I am so ready to be married, but wedding planning it’s just not me at all. It makes me a little crazy and not in the I’m going crazy this has to be my day, more in the there is too much to do, it all makes me nervous, I just want it to be over crazy. Which is much sadder as opposed to just crazy.
Part of that is because I just wasn’t the girl dreaming about her wedding day, and the reality is I never had any intention of staying with S past the first few months of dating him, he was going to be my first nice boyfriend. Marriage, ha, who wants to get married when they’re still in college with there whole life ahead of them, little did I know that would be me.
I don’t have cold feet, but I’m not so hot on wedding planning.
I wish I didn’t dislike it so much. I wish it made me more giddy rather than tense.
I wish looking at wedding tasks got me thrilled rather than awash in this feeling of “gosh, can we actually make it work” or more often than not, “I don’t really want to do all that stuff”.
Or something like this.
Because it might sound like fun throwing a huge ceremony/party but it’s a ton of work. Friends and family ease things along and I’m so thankful for all the help we are getting, but a lot we have to do ourselves and it’s really teaching us/me how to communicate better and work as a team.
We are learning A LOT, that is for sure. I intend to take all these lessons into my marriage, I just hope that there can be a bit more joyful moments throughout our planning process. Or more so that I can really live/embody the joy of God in all that I do moving forward even when it’s frustrating, a grind, or wears on my patience. I guess for me I just kind of hoped that I might magically become a wedding person. I didn’t, I haven’t. I’m still very much irrevocably me.
I do kind of wish I had a little less feelings and could focus on the wedding a little more objectively, or just not get so stressed about changes in plans or not being able to hammer all the things down, because weddings just refuse to be hammered down. But I’m super grateful for google docs they make planning with differing schedules and homes a million times easier.
So to sum up right now planning a wedding is part of my adult things I don’t really want to do, but I will. Right up there with loan payments and job searching. Okay it’s not as bad as job searching, at least with wedding planning I have a partner. And sometimes there are really pretty things. And you know, no job interviews.
Glitter gang, are there life experiences or parts of being an adult you thought you’d really love/enjoy once you got there, but are finding as you’re living through the reality that you’re not at all?