My first post was my thoughts just before graduation, now the graduation is over the glitter has settled and I am doing my best to take each day one at a time.
It’s not easy.
So some things about me, my name is Juanita. I’m a hot off the press graduate from a small private Christian college in MA, you can guess which, there’s not that many. It’s the best school I could have chosen. I have a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism and Writing. Really, that’s the official title, and my major thing this summer is I will be working at a Girl Scout Camp. My future father in law (yeah, I’m also engaged, there will be a posts on that topic, trust me) sent me a card with this poem called “Life’s Pathway” by Emily Matthews here’s a snippet:
“But, if we pause a moment
and remember Who’s in charge,
The hills that loom ahead of us
no longer seem so large”
and the whole thing is really sweet and thoughtful and rhymey and it’s weird how much it’s sticking with me, because right now I’m having a small-what-in-the-world-am-I-doing-crisis. I just want to know what’s next. I want to know everything I do has meaning, and I’m forgetting that things don’t happen in a day. It’s a journey. A journey that may not even make sense until I die. Some days I can’t live with that reality. I want to know and understand and make sense of everything now, then I can go do my job. And God is saying go do something, and whatever you do love deeply and glorify me and it will all work out. So that’s what I’m trying. That’s why I write, that’s why I take my sister out for ice cream trips, that’s why I’m going to spend two weeks with my grandmother, that’s why I’m going to exhaust myself working at a Girl Scout camp this summer. That’s why I’m going on this journey even though the places I will go and even the final destination are pretty hazy, but He knows and right now that’s all that matters.